Don't Leave Me
by azbookworm
Summary: An alternate ending to the season 3 Christmas Special
1. Chapter 1

Don't Leave Me Part 1

Robert paced the sitting room wondering why the family had not yet been called down to the hospital. The welcome news that Mary had safely delivered a healthy baby had come well over an hour ago, but they had been asked to wait before coming down to the hospital to allow Mary to introduce Matthew to his child in private.

"What is taking so long?" Robert asked aloud to no one in particular.

"Oh Robert, they just want some time alone with the new baby. It is perfectly understandable," Cora said, sympathizing with the new parents' desire for some private time.

"They have had over an hour. How long do they need?" he complained. "I will not wait any longer. We needn't stay long and then they can have more private time if they wish."

"Have you forgotten that we came back early and Lynch is away visiting his family until tonight. How do you plan to get there? Best you wait for Matthew and he can drive us," Cora said.

"Tom can drive," Robert replied as he rang for Bates to bring his coat.

"Tom is our son-in-law, not the chauffeur. Just wait for Matthew," Cora urged, not wanting to offend Tom when he had come so far from his days as chauffeur.

"I truly don't mind," Tom said, standing to get his coat.

"Excellent. Cora, Edith, are you coming or do you wish wait?"

"Oh very well, but if they are angry with our early arrival, I shall blame it entirely on you," Cora said with a smile.

"I shall happily take the blame."

Shortly after leaving the abbey, they came upon a commotion on the road.

"Goodness Tom, what is going on?" Cora asked from the back where her view was obscured.

"There appears to have been an accident," he replied, noting the truck on the side of the road and seeing smoke billowing up from the ditch below. "We should stop."

"Of course. If there are any injuries, perhaps we can get them to the hospital. Cora and Edith, you stay in the car," Robert stated, wanting to shield them from any unsightly injuries that might upset female sensibilities.

Tom and Robert quickly exited the car and made their way down into the ditch. Tom's breath caught in his throat and he began to run when he recognized the overturned car at the bottom as Matthew's.

"Oh God no," Robert gasped when he saw the car.

"Is he alive?" Tom called to the truck driver he saw kneeling next to the car.

"I think so, but just barely."

Tom made at to the car to see Matthew stuck below and bleeding from the head. "Matthew, can you hear me?" There was no response. A quick check revealed that he was breathing shallowly and had a weak pulse. Tom quickly removed his own coat and tore the sleeves off.

"What are you doing?" Robert asked.

"We need to stop the bleeding. We have to wrap the wound and put pressure on it," he replied, working quickly to accomplish the task.

"What can I do?" Robert asked, trying to remain calm.

"Grab an arm. We have to pull him out and get him to the hospital if he is to have any chance." Together they pulled him from the car and carried him up the hill to the waiting car.

"Good Lord Robert, is that ….." Cora's hand came over her mouth and she could not finish her question.

"Oh God it is Matthew," Edith cried.

"Edith, Cora, you need to sit up front with me. We need to lay him across the seat. Robert, sit on the floor and keep pressure on the wound," Tom ordered and they were quickly on their way to the hospital as quickly as the car could travel.

"How did you know what to do?" Robert asked.

"Sybil," he replied softly.

When they arrived at the hospital, Tom and Robert carried Matthew in. "Cora, get Clarkson immediately and do not let Mary know, not yet, not until we know more."

"Why shouldn't we tell Mary?" Edith asked. She was not especially close to her sister, but something told her it would be wrong to keep this from her.

"She just had a baby. We can't risk upsetting her," Robert replied as he and Tom rushed by her. Edith followed and lingered in the doorway to see the men lay Matthew on a bed as Clarkson rushed in with Cora following in his wake.

"What happened?"

"There was a car accident. We tried to stopping the bleeding. He hasn't been responsive since we found him," Tom explained.

"He is unconscious. His pulse is very week and his breathing is shallow and irregular," Clarkson said after a quick examination. "He has lost a dangerous amount of blood though. Thankfully the bleeding has stopped or I doubt he would have made it here alive. We can try a blood transfusion, but it is risky. The body sometimes rejects the transfusion, but without it, we cannot get his blood pressure up and there is little chance of survival."

"Whatever it takes. The risk is worth it if there is a chance to save him," Robert said.

"Right, we shall get him into the operating room and start the transfusion right away."

At that, Edith swiftly left her place in the doorway in search of Mary's room. Regardless of what her father thought, she knew that Mary had a right to know what had happened to her husband and to be a part of decisions that could determine if he lived or died.

Mary looked up in surprise as Edith burst into her room.

"Well I hardly thought you would be the first member of the family to visit me," Mary said before remembering Matthew's recent urging that she try to be nicer to her sister. She had just been given everything she wanted so she decided that she could afford to be more generous to Edith. "Well, come see you nephew," Mary said with what she hoped was a welcoming smile.

Edith stood still, seemingly rooted to the floor. It was then that Mary noticed the look of horror on Edith's face, and she knew at once it was not a result of the unkind words she had spoken.

"What is it? What has happened," Mary demanded, handing the baby to Anna as a sense of dread began to set in. She only remembered this look on Edith's face once before - that awful night during the war when Edith had told her that Matthew was missing.

"There is something you ought to know. Papa said not to tell you, but I don't think he's right," Edith said, unknowing using the same words she had used years before. Mary however remembered those words and her sense of dread heightened. She rose from the bed, ignoring the pain, and gripped Edith's hand.

"Tell me."

"It's Matthew. There has been an accident, and he is very badly injured."

"Where is he?"

"In the operating room. Dr. Clarkson is attempting a blood transfusion." At that Mary swayed unsteadily on her feet and Edith reached out to steady her sister. "Mary, you shouldn't be out of bed so soon after childbirth."

"I must go to my husband. He needs me."

"Let me get you a wheelchair, and I will take you," Edith suggested.

"I cannot wait even for you to bring a chair," Mary said, rushing toward the door before turning back to her sister. "Thank you for telling me," she said simply before hurrying to find Matthew.

Author's Note: Blood typing was discovered in 1907 but rH factors were not discovered until 1940 so there could be major complications if a patient received blood that was the right type (A, B, AB, or O) but the wrong rH factor. This was the cause for blood transfusions being much more risky in the 1920's.

Let me know what you think and if I should continue.


	2. Chapter 2

Don't Leave Me Chapter 2

Mary hurried toward the operating room as fast as she could manage, ignoring the pain she was feeling as a result of so recently having a baby. Her pain did not matter right now - Matthew needed her. Oh God, please let him be okay she silently prayed. She could not bear to lose him now, not when they were finally happy after so many years of heartache, not when their babe was only hours old. Surely God would not be so cruel.

"My lady, what are you doing out of bed?" a nurse asked, following Mary down the hall. Mary, who was focusing on her own silent prayers, ignored the nurse's question and continued in the direction of the operating room. When the nurse surmised her destination, she began protesting again. "You cannot go in there. You must wait."

"My husband is in there. Do not presume to tell me I must wait," Mary said, flinging the door open without a backward glance. "Oh my darling," she cried when she saw him on the operating table. Unable to fight the tears any longer, she gave into her grief and let them fall.

"Lady Mary please, you must wait outside. You cannot help him in here," Dr. Clarkson said gently.

"Please do not try to send me away," she said, stepping close enough to touch him, needing to feel for herself that he still lived.

"I must do my work in as sterile an environment as possible. The presence of additional people only increases the risk of infection if he survives. It won't be long, but it is safer for him if you wait outside."

"For his safety I will do as you ask, but I shall be right outside. If anything goes wrong, anything at all, you must tell me right away," she sternly told the doctor. Once he nodded in agreement, Mary reached out to stroke Matthew's cheek a single time. "Such good luck my darling," she whispered as she placed a soft kiss on his lips before leaving the room.

Mary nervously paced the hall just outside the waiting room trying to create a facade of a calmness she did not feel. She had wiped her eyes and refused to let any more tears fall. Her tears, evidence of her fear and pain, were not something she would let anyone else see. It was only minutes later when her parents appeared in the hall and her resolve was tested.

"How dare you try to keep this from me," she said, the anger clear in her voice as she faced her parents.

"It was only temporarily, just until we knew more. We did not want to upset you unnecessarily," Robert said gently while Cora tried to get Mary to sit down.

"Upset me? My husband is unconscious and is undergoing a dangerous procedure. I am more than upset. But I have a right to know - more of a right than anyone else."

"Mary, please sit down. You need to calm down," Cora said, scared by the fact that she had observed something she had never seen before - Mary's hands were shaking as she spoke.

Despite knowing that she would not truly be able to calm down until Matthew opened his eyes again, Mary reluctantly sat down. "Tell me what happened and do not leave out any details."

Robert reluctantly recounted how they had come across the accident and what little they knew of Matthew's condition.

"Thank God you found him when you did. I would have been haunted forever if he had died alone in some ditch."

"Truth be told, it is also Tom we need to be thankful for. Doctor Clarkson said if it hadn't been for Tom's quick thinking in stopping the bleeding, Matthew would not have made it to the hospital alive," Robert informed her. Robert was struggling with the knowledge that the son-in-law he had been so reluctant to accept and had often treated ungracefully was the only reason the family might survive the day in tact. He wasn't sure how to thankful him or apologize for his past behavior.

"Where is the baby?" Cora asked.

"He is with Anna."

"He?" Robert asked.

"Yes, he," Mary said with a small smile that soon faded when she thought how her poor son might lose his father without ever knowing him. Swallowing hard, she fought back the tears that were again threatening to fall. "You can go see him if you like. He is perfect."

"As anxious as I am to meet my grandson, I can wait a little longer - until we know more about Matthew."

Shortly later, Doctor Clarkson appeared.

"How is he?" Mary asked, rising quickly to her feet.

"He is hanging on. We completed the transfusion, but he will have to be monitored for the next several hours. His temperature and pulse will have to be taken often."

"So he will be alright?" Robert asked.

"Unfortunately I cannot say yet. Assuming there are no complications from the transfusion, then we have to see if he wakes up. There is no way to determine if he is comatose or merely unconscious. I should warn you, should he awaken, he will likely have suffered from a concussion at best or worse - serious brain damage. Only time will tell."

"Have Matthew placed in my room," Mary instructed.

"I am not sure that is a good idea. You need your rest too Lady Mary."

"Doctor Clarkson, either you place him in my room, or I will remain by his bedside day and night," Mary said in a voice that left no room to doubt her.

"Very well," Clarkson reluctantly agreed.

For the next several hours, Mary sat in a chair next to Matthew's bed, holding his hand as she held the baby in her other arm. She spoke to him of the baby, urging him to open his eyes. While he showed no signs of the complications from the transfusion and his blood pressure had risen to a normal level, by late in the evening he still showed no signs of awakening. Her fears that Matthew had indeed slipped into a coma plagued her more with each passing hour.

At the repeated urging of the night nurse, Mary finally laid down in her bed to try to find sleep that her weary body craved. Sleep however was impossible. With the worries weighing heavily on her mind, she knew there was no way to find sleep without Matthew.

She finally left her bed and walked the few steps to his. The bed was too small for two people, but Mary was determined to make it work. She carefully shifted him over to the far side of the bed and then climbed in beside him. Laying on her side, she rested her head on his chest where she could hear the comforting sound of his heartbeat and feel the warmth of his skin. It was only when she tried to wrap his arm around her only to watch it fall limply back to his side.

There, in the darkness of the room with no one else to see, she gave free rein to her pain and fear. Her tears began to fall as she gasped for breath. "Please don't leave me Matthew….please….You remember the night before we married, you told me that you would never be happy with anyone else as long as I walked the Earth and you thought that I felt the same. But the truth is so much more, because while it is true that I could never be happy with anyone else as long as you walk the Earth, it actually goes much further. The simple fact is that is only half the truth for I will never be happy at all without you, not ever. So please don't leave me my love," she whispered as she cried herself to sleep laying against his chest and praying that it would not be the last time she fell asleep next to him.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Don't Leave Me Chapter 3

Although Mary had finally managed to fall asleep, it was not a restful sleep. She was plagued with nightmares of Matthew dying alone in a ditch, of him dying on the operating table, of him never waking up or not being himself when he did wake up. It was a relief when she was awaken from these dreams by her baby's cry.

"Hush my darling," she cooed as she picked up her baby and cradled him to her to calm him. Settling herself back on the bed, she began to feed her son. When he had finished nursing, she gently rocked him in her arms until he fell back asleep. She smiled, pleased with the results of her efforts.

"I don't know if I will ever be the wonderful mother you claimed I will be, but I shall certainly try," she told her unresponsive husband. "You, on the other hand, will be the most amazing father," she said, taking his limp hand and lifting it up to stroke the baby's soft cheek. "You see, it isn't just me that you can't leave. It is him too."

She placed the sleeping baby back in the crib before settling in next to Matthew again. Although she would not have thought it possible, her body was so tired that she fell back asleep shortly later.

The next time she awakened, it was not from the baby's cries, but from the sound of soft moans. She came awake very quickly when she realized the moans were coming from Matthew. Sitting up, she grabbed his hand as his name fell repeatedly from her lips.

"Mary," she heard him mumble, his eyes still closed.

"Oh Matthew, I'm here love," she said, leaning over him and touching his face.

"Mary," he muttered again. His head ached horribly and he felt rather dizzy. Despite how heavy his eyelids felt, he managed to open his eyes, wanting to see Mary's face. The room was still fairly dark, as dawn was just beginning to break and his vision was blurry at first, but he could make out the face he face he most wanted to see and tried to smile. Before he could say anything, a wave of nausea washed over him and he knew without a doubt that he was about to be sick. He began struggling to sit up or at least turn to the side to avoid being sick all over himself or worse yet all over Mary. Recognizing the look on his face, Mary reacted quickly and grabbed the bowl sitting on the bedside table and held it for him just as he began to be sick. She gently rubbed his back as he emptied his stomach into the bowl.

Exhausted, he laid back against the pillow and allowed her to wipe his face with a cloth to clean him up. He started to mutter an apology but she cut him off assuring him that it was perfectly okay.

"Anna, Anna, come quickly," Mary called to her maid who was sleeping in the other corner of the room near the baby's crib. Matthew winced as the volume of Mary's voice caused his head to ache even more. The groan he made caused Mary to grip his hand harder. "What is it Matthew? Are you in pain? Are you going to be sick again?"

"My head…so loud," he croaked, wincing at even the sound of his own voice.

"Oh Matthew, I am so sorry," she whispered, running her fingers through his hair and trying to soothe him "Anna, get the nurse. Have her phone Dr. Clarkson and get him here immediately. Someone from the abbey can drive him if necessary. Then call the house and let them know he has woken up. Oh and call Grantham House, Isobel should be told immediately. And be sure to tell anyone who comes in here to keep their voice down," Mary instructed in a low but firm voice.

"Right away my lady," Anna replied, hurrying from the room.

"You would have made a fine general," Matthew said, wincing again from the sound of his voice.

"Hush darling. Don't you worry about a thing. The doctor will be here soon," Mary whispered. She wanted to tell him how much she loved him, how thankful she was that he came back to her, but she was afraid of causing him more pain as any sound seemed to be excruciating for him. To unburden her heart which would cause him physical pain suddenly seemed very selfish so she remained silent. She tried instead to tell him with looks and soft caresses.

Matthew wanted to tell her just how much he loved her, how thankful he was that he was spared once again, but each word he uttered hurt his head so much. He could see in her face her love for him and all the worry he had caused her over the past hours or days - he was not at all sure how long he had been unconscious. He knew he had to battle through his pain to tell her. Gripping her hand and steeling himself for the pain he knew would come, he began to speak softly. "My darling, I love you..more than you will ever know…" he visibly winced as it hurt so much more when he spoke than when others did. Despite that, he began to try to speak again before feeling her finger on his mouth.

"Oh Matthew, I know that, and though I am always happy to hear it, you must be silent now. I can see the pain it causes you to speak so please, for me, please do not speak," she urged him as softly as she could manage. He offered her a smile and squeezed her hand to communicate his thanks.

Carson did not believe he could have ever been happier to receive a phone call than he had been when he received the news that Lady Mary had safely delivered a healthy baby, but he was shortly proved wrong. The phone call from Anna saying that Mr. Crawley had woken up was even better news. Thank the good lord that Mary would not be left a grieving widow with a tiny baby. He could not hide the smile from his face as he hurried to Lord Grantham's bedroom to share the news. Carson would normally consider the speed at which he was walking to be undignified, but he knew his lordship would want to receive this news as soon as possible - and to be perfectly honest, he was most anxious to deliver the news as well.

Carson quietly pushed the door open to the darkened bedroom where Lord and Lady Grantham still slept. He walked softly to Lord Grantham's side. "My lord," he whispered as he gently shook his arm.

"Carson?" Robert asked, immediately alert, knowing Carson would not disturb his sleep unless something incredibly important had happened.

"Mr. Crawley has woken up," Carson said, not even trying to hide his pleasure at the news.

"Thank God. Cora," he said shaking her arm until she opened her eyes. "Matthew is awake."

"Oh thank heaven. How is he?" she asked.

"The doctor is on his way to examine him. All I know is that he is awake and responding to Lady Mary," Carson replied.

"For now, that is enough," Robert said.

"Indeed my lord."

"We should Tom. If it weren't for him, this wouldn't be possible," Cora suggested, looking at Robert for his agreement.

"Mr. Branson?" Carson asked.

"Dr. Clarkson told us if it weren't for Tom's actions, Matthew would have had no chance of survival."

Carson struggled to take in the knowledge that the man he so despised for his inexcusable actions proved to be the savior of Lady Mary's happiness. He had never thought to accept Mr. Branson as a full-fledged member of the Crawley family, but perhaps he needed to revisit that opinion.

"I shall notify him myself, my lady."

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Don't Leave Me Chapter 4

Mary sat in silence beside Matthew gently rubbing his head. He had fallen back asleep shortly after Anna left to call for Doctor Clarkson. While Matthew had not been sick again, any noise above a whisper caused him to wince in pain. She hated to see him in pain, but was at a lost as to what she could do to help him.

She was concerned how he would about when the baby woke up crying. Right now, the baby was sleeping peacefully just a few feet from the bed, but she knew that was unlikely to continue much longer. She had briefly considered moving the baby into another room with Anna, but she did not wish to be parted with either the baby or her husband so she decided to wait until until a decision was absolutely necessary.

"I hear the patient is awake," Doctor Clarkson said as he entered the room. Mary hushed him, but a worried glance at Matthew revealed that he was still asleep. She carefully extracted herself from the bed to speak with Dr. Clarkson on the other side of the room so they would not disturb Matthew.

"He was awake for a short while, but he fell back asleep."

"That is perfectly normal. Judging by the trauma to his head, he is almost certainly suffering from a concussion. He will need as much rest as possible in the coming weeks. It is vital to the healing process. What else can you tell me about the time he was awake? Did seem aware of his surroundings?"

"Yes, very aware. He was nauseous and became sick shortly after he opened his eyes, and noise seems to be extremely painful for him."

"Nausea, headaches, and an aversion to noise are all common side affects of patient's suffering from a concussion. Those will fade in time. More concerning is when a patient experiences seizures or loss of memory."

"He did not seem to experience either of those, but as I said, he was only awake for a very short period. Should we rouse him so you can examine him?"

"No, as I said, rest is very important so let him sleep. I will be here at the hospital all day, so just have one of the nurses fetch me when he awakens."

"Thank you doctor," she said as he left. Pulling a chair next to his bed, she sat next to him as she used to years ago when he was in the hospital with his war injury. She felt an overwhelming urge to reach out and touch him, but refrained from doing so lest she wake him. She contented herself with just looking at him, watching the steady rise and fall of his chest as he slumbered.

She was not sure how long she had been watching him when she was shaken from her silent reverie by the baby's cry. She rushed to pick him up and comfort him, but it to prevent the noise from waking Matthew. Cradling the baby close to her and gently rocking him to ease his cries, she glanced back at Matthew who was cringing. Mary offered her finger to the baby who quickly quieted and began to attempt to suckle.

"He is just hungry darling," she whispered.

"Poor lad. It is not his fault," Matthew said, feeling extremely guilty for recoiling from his son's cries knowing the babe had no other way to communicate his needs.

"I will just go find a private place and feed him," she said.

"There is no need for you to go. You can feed him here," Matthew whispered back.

"Oh Matthew, you don't want to see that," she replied.

"I think you forget that I am not your father. I am merely a doctor's son. And besides, your body has no more secrets from me," he said with a grin as he pulled himself into a seated position and made room for her beside him.

"Oh very well," she agreed as she sat next to him and positioned the baby at her breast. It was not the way she was raised, and she was not sure she was entirely comfortable doing this beside him, but right now, she was willing to indulge Matthew while he was healing.

"He is a greedy little chap," Matthew whispered when he heard the soft sounds their son was making.

"I am sorry his cries caused you pain," Mary said softly.

"Don't be. It certainly isn't your fault or even his. If it is anyone's fault, it is mine. I was so happy when I was driving that I wasn't really watching the road. If I had been more careful, I would be fine now."

"You are here. That is enough," Mary said, leaning in place a soft kiss on his lips. As she did, the baby cried in protest at being jostled. "Hush darling," Mary whispered as she repositioned the baby, so he could resume nursing.

"Someone does not like to share his mother," Matthew said, as he reached his hand out to stroke his son's head.

"I think it is more that he does not like to have his meal interrupted," Mary countered.

"He needs a name you know," Matthew commented.

"Well, we had not decided between Reginald for your father or Robert for mine, and I was waiting until you….." she trailed off not wanting to mentioned her fear that he would not wake up or her thought that if he didn't, the baby would be called Matthew. She bit her lip to try to prevent the tears she felt welling up in her eyes from falling.

Matthew understood that she meant she was waiting to see if he would survive and reached up to brush away a solitary tear that was making its way slowly down her cheek. "My darling, you did all the work, so I think it only fair that you decide."

"I think you did some of the work too," she said, feeling her cheeks warm even as she smiled at him.

"Perhaps, but I am not sure you could call something so nice 'work.' You did all the hard work. If you want to name him for your father, I do not mind at all."

"In that case, as much as I had been looking forward to settling the great Reginald Robert debate, I think maybe we should table that until next time. You see I was thinking when you fell back asleep this morning of another name. I have been so lucky my love because I could have lost you twice, first during the war and then the other day by the side of the road, but both times you were saved. I will alway be grateful to those who saved you so I thought maybe we could honor them by naming our little prince for them. What would you think of calling him William Tom Crawley?"

Matthew swallowed hard as a felt a lump in his throat. Rather than answer, he leaned in to kiss her.

"I take it you approve," she said when the kiss ended.

"I think it is perfect," he assured her.

"How is your head?" Mary asked, still keeping her voice low and soft.

"Darling, my heart is so full, I can barely feel my head."

"You might be able to distract me with answers like that, but be warned, as soon as I finish feeing our little man, I will fetch Dr. Clarkson to examine you and I don't think he will be so easily distracted."

TBC

Author's Note: Sorry for the delay in getting this chapter up. I hope you enjoyed it. I am trying to decide how far to take this story. Let me know your thoughts and if you have any suggestions


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